Music to Listen to while in Chelsea

Kylie Minogue + Dannii Minogue + ABBA = GAY COMA

Just wait until Inches and Bear Magazine start showing up.

(in reference to one August night when Jon, after several drinks, discovered you can easily subscribe to any number of magazines through Amazon simply by clicking a couple buttons... and in the morning forgot which dozen he happened to choose at 2am)

J: so you'll be happy to know that the new Out came.

P: awesome. i need to catch up on that one.

J: yup. and we've got Vogue now too. the new Vogue is here.

P: actually i need to keep up with both Vogue and Out, so... you know...

J: i thought so. i like to be helpful.

P: i figure... living in chelsea... Vogue and Out... that should do it.

One Should Only Ever Drink Bottled Beer at Rawhide

After dinner with A & B, S and I decided to grab a drink at Rawhide downstairs... until we saw the cockroaches scurrying along the bar and over some guy's hand. More than one. A herd, in fact. The guy laughed at me for jumping away from the bar. I was like, dude... a herd of cockroaches ran over your hand and you just sat there and didn't move your hand. And I'm the one worth making fun of??

Alternative Lifestyle Rodents

Discussing a conversation at work with a co-worker about another co-worker:

P: So I told him to sprinkle raisins on her desk and tell her it's rat droppings.

Me: You should have him use chocolate sprinkles. She might actually believe it's droppings.

P: True. That wouldn't work with rainbow sprinkles.

(pause)

P: Well maybe if it was a Chelsea rat.

The Phantom Pee

You know you're in Chelsea when you're about to going into your apartment building and you hear the side door to Rawhide open just feet away from you. Just open about 2 inches. Enough for an employee to start pissing out the door.